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Love Yourself First

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”
- Veronica A. Shoffstall

Although love is beautiful, it can be a very challenging subject to write. There are many definitions, versions and opinions of love. Some spend their entire lives searching for true love while others spend their lives suffering with a broken heart and  pushing people away out of fear of being hurt again.  Love can be a bundle of the strongest emotions and can powerfully influence our everyday life.

In my deepest opinion, true love starts within yourself.  It begins with acceptance and forgiveness. Looking at yourself and knowing that you're worth it. Respecting yourself and living day to day with the best morals and ethics.  No one is perfect and each and everyone of us should accept that, learn from our mistakes, and move forward. 

Our past is made up of so many different types of experiences. If you have made mistakes that you're not proud of or failed miserably, stop beating yourself up over it.  All you're doing is ruminating and unproductively judging yourself. Instead, you should love yourself and learn from your experiences. Dwelling on  your past holds you hostage to it. Focusing on your failure can result in physiological and psychological problems including migraines, anxiety, IBS,  stomach pain, depression, back pain, rapid aging, adrenal fatigue, insomnia and lowered immune system. Distorting  your past with continuous lies, excuses and/or self loathing  causes emotional  paralysis .  How can you love or accept yourself and be liberated if you're busy fighting demons, living with negative internal self talk , and drowning in daily guilt?  Guilt can be dissipated by owning up to your actions and not obsessing upon your failures.  

If you perceive yourself a victim of past circumstances, it's time to stop and reconstruct your self image and your interactions and move forward. Feeling as if people are always after you or giving you the short end of the stick should be a wake up call. What are you portraying to the world? Why does this victim pattern continue? Is it them or is it you? I'm not discounting that there are true victims, but there are survivors who refuse to be controlled by their negative trauma. My point is, if you carry drama wherever you go, it's time to take a new route in life to heal and be free. Love and respect your inner self.  

As you all know I'm a huge advocate of developing a strong body and consistently working on increasing one’s physical strength. If you're a complete wreck inside and you're using strength training as a band-aid for your mental frailty, you may be going about it all wrong. You will end up just being a physically strong individual with a weak disposition and a load of negative baggage. You will continue to be a victim wherever you go and it will be apparent to those around you. Don't get me wrong, physical strength can alleviate mental torment. However, the real work comes from eliminating self whipping scripts and instead, striving for creative self nourishment. We come back to one thing. LOVE!  Love is what makes the world go round. Demonstrate love or simple acts of loving kindness to your family, friends, and even show tolerance to those who are unkind. They deserve some form of this vital emotion called love. You will have the power to show the world what it's like to be loved by being kind, accepting , and loving.


RJ said…
Wow. Thanks for sharing. What an inspiring beautiful story. I don't see how anyone could have anything negative to say about your blog, it shows your inner beauty, that we don't all get to see. It gives me hope, to hear that you are effected by emotions too. I would never have guessed, from your shell. It's like you were reading my mind (your timing): We communicated about Combat Package, (which I ordered on the first night she moved out. Initially I felt like, ok, I'm going to focus on me, get back into a good workout routine. But my head and emotions were/are all over the place (couldn't even read your blog completely until today, I had no focus. It doesn't help that I'm Super Sensitive, Emotional and Moody). I initially wanted, to immediately, find someone better. Or at least a confidence booster. I realize I need to work on me (inside&out) after reading your blog and actually as I'm writing this. The seperation was necessary but still hurt(s). Thanks for the direction. And for opening up and showing your vulnerable side, it helps, me at least. I'm glad you found love again, you deserve it, at least the good parts. Also, thanks for introducing me to Robert's story which I relate to, to an extent, also very helpful and encouraging, for me. Have a positive day. "Today I Shall Judge Nothing That Occurs ". "This too shall pass". Ram Dass, Journey of Awakening, A Meditations Guide Book. Live in the Moment. Peace and Love. [It's been two weeks, I'm obviously still having trouble sleeping it's 6am in Chicago].
Lauren Brooks said…
RJ, thank you for the compliments. I'm very pleased you will take time to focus on you from the inside. Please keep me posted on your progress. I will check these books out as well. Take care, Lauren

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